I travelled to Slovenia recently with my girlfriend Liv, and in my research for the trip (reading Lonely Planet), one of the first things I read about was an equine eatery named Hot Horse. It’s apparently a true favourite with the locals and renowned enough to be mentioned in the wikipedia entry for Horsemeat. I had to go.
It was set in the pretty confines of Park Tivoli, just down the road from a museum of Slovenian history where I’d been told by a proud Slovenian that Tito was ‘actually not so bad’, ( great guy, seriously). The baudy facade reminded me of the Burger Master that once existed in the South Wales town I grew up in until it finally got replaced by a Mcdonalds (that this was an upgrade, tells you of the standard of Burger Master). I have a vague recollection of my dad trying to persuade me I was eating horse in a restaurant in France somewhere, but aside from this, Horse was a new meat to me.
I should mention that Liv speaks Slovene and so was able to translate the menu for us. This is her reaction upon reading the words ‘Foal Steak.’ I tried to make her try veal’s edgier, even more controversial cousin but to be honest she wasn’t sold on the whole horse thing and plumped for the veggie burger instead. Here’s what she got.
A burger bun with lettuce in it. It’s horse or nothing for these guys.
I naturally went for the horse burger, with everything the server said I should have with it, including the slightly-gross sounding, nacho cheese.
I’m wearing shades to conceal eyes of pain, I wanted to like this burger, I don’t have a problem with eating Horse, if you’re going to eat pig, sheep and cow then why balk at horse? Plus I’ve never been a fan of equestrian sports.
Unfortunately though it was just a little bland, the meat struggled to fight past the overpowering and gloopy nacho cheese. I’m ashamed to say I didn’t even finish it. I sincerely apologise to horses around the world.
Perhaps I should have gone for the foal steak?
JOEL WRIGHT
